You know the saying, “like mother like daughter”? That is the story of my life…I’m basically my mothers twin just 34 years apart…maybe saying I’m her clone is less fucking creepy, either way I’m cut from the same mold.
Come on an adventure with me…I’ll take you back to sometime in 1982, where big bouffant hair and Miami Vice was all the rage, I wasn’t even a thought or a seed (yuck) back then…
Picture this, a young couple and their new baby are out for a family day, most likely running errands, laughing and cooing at their perfect tiny bundle of joy. Driving around in a 1972 copper El Camino most likely listening to the latest Michael Jackson, the baby and parents are…oh so happy….until…my mother notices a giant wasp in the tiny car that is holding the three of them..
SCREAMS, curse words…straight PANIC (all from my mother and her giant hair of course).
I can only image how calm and collective my Pops is…I’m sure his papa bear mode kicked in and if he had some sort of fear, he wouldn’t show it…a real skill set that I apparently didn’t get.
Pops, who is highly allergic to wasps and bees slows down the car and pulls over to the side of the road. I am sure his logic is thinking they can handle this situation in a jif and move on with the day…
POPS IS WRONG
Before the car comes to a complete stop…guess whose happy ass is out of the fucking car and half way down the street, screaming like a banshee…yup, my mother….her motherly instinct apparently had not kicked in. Pops says he’s never seen her run so fast in his life.
She didn’t come back, she was running like Forrest Gump, while my poor father is saving their child without dying.
Good news, baby and father do make it out safe…more good news, Mother set the tone for me to easily pull stupid shit and my father knows how to play it cool.
Thanks Ma, for teaching me to be a damsel in distress…thanks Pops, for always saving not one but two damsels…
At least Ma taught me how to be artsy and creative.