Social Media Can Suck My Dick

Well, if I had one…and if I did have one I would be really aggressive and foul and dick slap it in the face.

Dear Social Media,

You really suck. I’m sitting here, drinking my cup of joe, reading my horoscope, pulling angel cards and trying to get out of my morning mood. I’m happy, well as happy as I will ever be at this hour.
Then for some unknown reason or out of pure habit…I check my social networks. And because I’m a chick and we are all fucking insane I peep my ex boyfriend, ex neighbor friend, ex hookup…basically I just stalked every damn man I have ever been with and I have no idea why. I also have no idea why I am friends with all these mother fuckers…they’ve already served their purpose in my life. But you social media, you just have to be around and shove it in my face of my past poor decisions.

Oh and why does everyone always seem so happy…not that I’m not happy but I just don’t find the need to tell all my “Internet friends” that I had the most amazing cup of coffee or that I finally got laid after months or rub it in their faces that I’m rad.

So there…that’s all I have to say to you. I just want to go back to real telephone conversations and letters in the mail. Nobody sends letters anymore and I can’t get a man to call me (they seem to think texting is the only form of communication).

I need to go back in time to the 1940s…I think I would do so much better in that decade.

Forever Unhappily Happy on Social Media,

Me

P.S. End Rant

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s