My small city likes to play a fun game of, “let’s be racist assholes once we find out our friend is dating a black man”. Let me tell you how not fun that game is. You see, I was the first person actually wait, the only in this group of friends(no longer friends) that dated a man of a different race. It seemed to be the biggest deal in the planet.
The glares and looks I received from my fellow peers was astonishing. These people were my friends since middle school and at the ripe age of 22 I was experiencing racism…and to think I didn’t think it was even an issue. Maybe you would call me naive but I don’t see color so why should everyone else. What year is it anyways? Regardless, dating my ex boyfriend was a challenge but also an eye opening experience to life and culture.
I’ve dated a couple more black men since my ex, I’ve also dated a couple white men since my ex. I actually just say I’ve dated or I’m going on a date without feeling the need to state his race. But for some reason it always comes into play. I’m still not quite sure why.
Anyways, my good friend who supported my interracial dating, has found herself in an interracial relationship. She is white and he is Mexican. I see nothing wrong with this, mainly because I’m half Mexican and who gives a shit, but her father has to be the most conservative man on the planet, and while she has conservative views her world had opened up into something new.
As we were eating lunch, she broke down, saying some of her friends were making racial jokes about her boyfriend and she didn’t know how to take it. I know how she feels, you defend them and you until you turn blue, you want to cry and protect them…mainly you want to know how could you be friends with all these fucking assholes for so long and never know that they see color as a thing. I told her it gets easier to ignore the comments, and in honesty, you find out who your true friends are. She thanked me but I could tell that wasn’t all.
As lunch continued, I didn’t pry for the other feelings that I could tell were left unsaid, I kept repeating, I’m always your friend no matter who you date and if you need anyone I’m your girl. She finally spoke up stating she doesn’t know what to tell her dad. That he won’t like it or accept it and she’s worried it’s going to change their relationship.
At this point, I had no advice. I listened to her go back and forth on ways to casually bring it up. I saw the wheels in her head turning and the pain in her eyes. She is truly conflicted on love and family.
I know she will find the strength to stand up to her dad, and others that surround her. I know she will pick love instead of not. I know because she is fucking awesome and I’m proud to be her friend.
Does she even date white guys, she may not anymore after this one.
Do I even date white guys, who gives a fuck, I date men.
The only way I describe the men I choose to date is; that asshole, the nice one, small hands, pretty eyes, tall guy, dickhead, mister mysterious, handsome and so on and so forth.