How To: Not be Memorable

This is a guide on how to not make an impression with a sultry man that is trying to pick you up.

I’m minding my own business, enjoying a drink when a tall bloke approaches me. He’s already invading my bubble, and I can tell this will be an interesting conversation. This man, is all up in my pearly whites, his nose may be an inch or so away from mine.

goody goody gum drops someone get him a tic tac and a taxi

Guy:Your face is pretty

I smile…he continues

Guy:Your hair is ugly

I smile…he continues

Guy:Wanna make out?

I am still remain smiling…I politely decline (I’m actually laughing inside and wondering if his compliment followed by an insult gets him laid).

Guy:I won’t remember you anyway, you’re not memorable

Thank you, strange man. I’m very glad that my face, hair and strength of withholding punching you square in your strong jaw wasn’t memorable enough for you.

Apparently, white curly hair with a hint of pink wasn’t his cup o’ tea…but he would sacrifice his wants because my lack of golden locks was made up by my pretty face.

Your lack of respect wasn’t made up by your chiseled body.

I’m actually surprised I didn’t flash on him and turn into a fast speaking and insult saying fucking chick. I held it together and sipped on my drink as the bartender asked if I was okay. I nodded and smiled. Because I am. Who gives a shit what a strange drunk man says. Even if he had been sober, he wasn’t my fucking type.

I don’t want to be memorable to every man, I just want to be memorable to the one fucking man that matters.

Basically, there is no how to, I wasn’t memorable because my legs weren’t ever going to be wrapped around his waist. I wasn’t memorable because I didn’t look twice at him. I wasn’t memorable because his lame line didn’t get me hot and bothered the way he expected. So basically, be yourself ladies because it’s not memorable but him being hammered, is?! He should be worried…not I.

I keep hearing basic bitches

Don’t be a fucking mediocre man

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