Dear Vibrator

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Dear Vibrator,

Thank you for never judging if I’m groomed or not.

Love,
Hairy Monkey

Dear Vibrator,

Thank you for giving me some love on my darkest days, it really means a lot.

Love,
Emotional Gal

Dear Vibrator,

You don’t even mind when Aunt Flo is in town, you never bitch about her, you just get in and get out and I always end up smiling.

Love,
Hormonal

Dear Vibrator,

Thank you for never leaving me when I have left you for other pleasuring partners, I never meant to hurt your feelings but I appreciate you taking me back (the shower head isn’t as great as you).

Love,
Your One and Only

Dear Vibrator,

When I’m having a crazy moment, you never actually call me “crazy”, and for that, I’ll always love you.

Love,
Crazy

Dear Vibrator,

We all know I’m a curvy girl, I appreciate you never telling me that my body isn’t good enough for you.

Love,
Bootylicious

Dear Vibrator,

You are so selfless, you always care about me and not you. If I adjust your speed you don’t need a moment to breathe, you just keep going and going until I’m satisfied…you’re so good to me.

Love,
Harder and Faster

Dear Vibrator,

I appreciate you so much, you have never once farted in the middle of our escapades, and you never roll over for a smoke right after…

Love,
Thanks for Not Smelling

Dear Vibrator,

I love how you know I’m not much of a talker, you never talk my ear off during or after.

Love,
Peaceful Pleasing

Dear Vibrator,

I’ve never once worried if you had anything growing on you. Plus we never once have we had to use the dreaded condom.

Love,
Clean and Free

Dear Vibrator,

Do you even know what online dating is?! Oh good god, you don’t.

Love,
Thank the Fucking Heavens

Dear Vibrator,

What?!? This can’t be true…you don’t play video games?! No…

Love,
I’m a Grown Up Too (kinda, I am writing a blog about letters to vibrators)

Dear Vibrator,

Thanks for never, “hitting it and quitting it”.

Love,
I Ain’t No Hoochie Mama

Dear Vibrator,

When I come to your with year struck eyes, you don’t ask…you just do your job and move on.

Love,
I’m Crying Cause I’m Happy

Dear Vibrator,

I’m proud to say, I’ve never heard you scream someone else’s name when we are romping away. Thanks.

Love,
Don’t Call Me Babe, Cause You Can’t Remember A Two Syllable Name

Dear Vibrator,

Thank you for never asking to cum in my face.

Love,
It Won’t Fucking Happen

I have more “love notes” to these wonderful BOBs, but I’ll leave you waiting, wondering and lusting.

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