The “Sex” Myth

Scene: Loud and noisy club, I’m with one of my lady friends who just broke up with her ladyfriend…we are on a mission to get her to have some fun. It’s 3am and I met up with her at 5pm, I’m 109% sure my makeup has been long gone from my face, my hair is probably dying to be let go from the grips of a million bobby pins and I’m surprised I am still awake let alone functioning. We’ve been dancing for hours, laughing at her ridiculous choice of wardrobe because we were only suppose to meet up for drinks not early morning club session.

Anyways, I notice my partner in funky town dance moves has left my side…and we all know you can’t funky town alone. I quickly find her, sweat dripping from her long hair and nudge her to scoot over, she doesn’t. I search for places to rest my big ol ass and find one, and just as I was backing my ass up some man swooped his ass in. Now me being…well, me…excuse me, my big ass was about to sit there, scoot yours over! The man looks at me, I recognize him but don’t say anything as he makes room for my ass.

My legs are dangling because I’m too freaking short for whatever I’m sitting on, and I always make a point to kick my feet in the air when they don’t touch the floor. The guy looks at me, “hey, how do I know you”? Me being me again, oh unno, we swapped spit at a house party 5 years ago. We proceed to reintroduce ourselves which wasn’t needed for me due to the fact that I remember nothing of importance and everything else. We sit there and watch his friend nuzzle my friend, I start to get up, he grabs my hand and asks me to dance (new funky town dancing buddy)?.

Not to my surprise he was actually pretty good on his toes. We danced for hours until my friend came up to me and stated she was leaving. I told her to go, I’ll catch a cab. She looked up and down at my male suitor and told me, “once I saw him, I knew you would go home with him”. She flashed a cheeky smile as I rolled my eyes. The only reason she stated that was the fact that the male suitor happened to be a light skinned black man and apparently that’s my type. Whatever, he was nice to look at and I figure why the hell not, if he wants to drive me home…I’m game. He isn’t like a stranger, I met him 5 years ago (great woman’s logic).

The make suitor, touched my arm and asked if he could take me home, I flash my pearly whites and nod. As we are walking to his beautiful car (my jaw dropped that this young whipper-snapper had a fancy whip) I kindly tell the man, we can sleep together but not really sleep together, I mean all we will be doing is sleeping. He nodded and said that he understood.

Yes, now I know you don’t bring strangers to your home, especially if you’re a single girl, live alone and we were taught better…but the reality is, we all do it…we all act a fool but to be completely honest, I’m really good at reading people, and I have my form of weapons all over my house…just in case.

Regardless, he stayed the night, without crossing the line, and he cuddled me which was really nice to have. To top it off I’ve seen the gentleman a few more times since then.

The Myth about all of this, I’m choosing to not feel bad about what I do while I’m single, who I choose to bring home…who I decided to give the cookie too. I will not beat myself up for living a little, for enjoying my single days, because one day, I’ll be waking up to the same man for the rest of my life and I never want to look back regretting that I didn’t fully live my single years. Now I’m not saying, go be a whore but does it really matter? I’m not in high school, I’m a 26 year old single female, I’m independent and strong…who gives a flying fuck what I do. As long as I’m happy and I’m fully comfortable with my actions, I’m good.

I’m going to do me, proudly!


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