The Sober Sex

Wine ✔️
Delicious Cake ✔️
Girl Friend ✔️
Adult Sleep Over ✔
Sex Talk ✔️✔️

Last other night was special, really special…my friend and I learned that we are down right dirty little woman…and by that I mean hoochie mamas…I thought being promiscuous was only for your late teens and early twenties not mid twenties, I was wrong.

Here we are, two single, attractive, career orientated women in not so attractive pajamas stuffing our faces with moist chocolate cake as we watch some odd movie that had some graphic sex…we noticed they only have boring missionary. We converse on their sex position and then wham, at the same time we say loudly, “I don’t know the last time I had sober sex.” We literally abrupt in laughter, I don’t know if it was because we had the same train of thought or if it was the elephant in the room of our skank hood. Either way, we cheers’d our glasses and began the intense back log of sexual relations…which that began the hilarious log of men; sweaty fart guy, drunk Dave, blood diamond, 6’10, navy man, annoying bartender, Lenard, that old guy, never sober exs and lesbian sex (which she told me didn’t count, I beg to differ). We went back years, we both couldn’t remember, any sexual relations in which we were completely sober…I calculated mine to the ex with the one eye which was over two years and even towards the end of that hellish relationship I was drunk anytime we had sex.

Now, before you think I’m a raging drunk who just gets after it, that’s far from the case…I just happen to enjoy wine and it makes me kinda frisky plus tipsy sex is the best, and I only might be saying that because it’s been years since sober sex. Either way, least I’m still getting some?!

I’m on a mission now, no sex unless in a relationship and let’s try to be sober…I’ll keep you posted on how that works (I’ll try my hardest but no promises).

Who knew that many women lead promiscuous lives even when they have these fabulous careers. It’s insane to me what I thought was promiscuous in my early twenties to now, shit I was tame back then. I’ve somehow turned into a hoochie mama with no care in the world (I’m not an idiot, protection ALWAYS)…it’s true, the older I get, the more sexual I become and I honestly didn’t think that was possible.

Hmmm…2015, the year of sober sex, maybe, maybe more sober sex with someone amazing…. 🙂

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