That’s it. I am done!
I have vowed myself off of men for 40 days and 40 nights…no dating, no flirting intentionally, no kissing, no sex, no buying a round because he bought me a round, no reach out text message, no nada…zip…zero…diddly squat…this girl is over it!
I, yet again had a chance encounter this past January (January must be my damn month with men) with a very lovely bearded emotionally unavailable fellow…okay, so maybe he might be emotionally available and he might have realized that girl with giant pink hair that is extremely outspoken and independent is not his type…I am coming to realize I might not be anyones damn type but I am sick and tired of not having people take risks. TAKE RISKS PEOPLE!
Anyways, back to my whirlwind relationship…I fell hard…as in I started to feel actual human feelings that have been buried way down in my deep dark soul for years now. I mean, this man was a MAN…a real MAN…not one of those bait and switch men, he was a true man. Door opening, date paying, good morning messaging and late night talking man (yeah yeah, I am kicking myself too). I honestly don’t know what happened, it when from, “I don’t know you and I want to spend all my time with you”, to friendzone.
Literally, with the snap of his fingers, one day to the next…I was friendzoned…added bonus he told me I was amazing and my ambition and drive is unmatched…so you don’t want to surround yourself with a woman that is just trying to make a name for herself? Doesn’t make any sense to me. Adult dating is the shits man…I would rather have the shits for the rest of my life than to be friendzoned before anything ever started.
I wonder if the compliment of how great I am has to go before the statement of being “zoned”…what the hell happened to honesty, last I checked I am wearing my giant big girl panties and can deal with the truth…and to be honest homie (we are friends now remember) I have lived my entire 27 years without your gorgeous bearded blue eyed self and I am sure I can survive the rest of my life without feeling those juicy lips on mine, or your warm manly hands holding my face…I think I can find another man that drives a big truck, listens to country and is just as awesome as you…but he will be more awesome cause will take a damn risk with a girl that makes him feel.
Adult dating is the most frustrating thing…we are all damn jaded, someone has screwed with someones emotions and in turn that said human does the same thing that happened to them. What happened to the no pressure of dating, of getting to know someone by actually taking them out…the love letters and missing someone. Can we please bring 1950s back and learn how to fucking date (i would really like a Vintage kitchen too).
Anyways, I’ve been strong…its been a week of no useless men that just kill my time cause I am bored. I also have the coolest reminder that I am Men Sober, I put a damn 3d Skull on my ring finger and that shall remain there forEVER (okay maybe not forever but just until I feel that males have pulled their heads out their arses (forever)).
Men sober, the new sober experience…look at this primate, in her wild state…wild curly platinum locks…her hunt is over…just her and her long skinny fingers taking down all battery operated boyfriends and bringing them into her old love shack…howling at night has a new meaning.
One Woman, One World…Men Sober, a new trend.